Today I am excited to team up with some fellow parenting bloggers to talk about toddler behavior. As my children grow I realize that each child has a different personality and need different discipline techniques. Please visit Mama’s Organized Chaos for Promoting Positive Behavior by Offering Choices to Your Toddler.
Mommy, play with me! Play with me! I hear this constantly and I constantly feel drained because her need to play with another person is never completely filled. My child is an extrovert and she wants to play with others all day. Unfortunately she has introverted parents and we have had to learn special ways to fill her needs.
We have 3 kids and our youngest daughter has definitely been the most extroverted kid out of all of them. I completely love that she has an outgoing personality. I have always been more quiet and timid and I love to promote her friendly nature when we are out and about but at home I have to admit that it is draining.
I have learned over the years with all the new research about introverts versus extroverts that I need to recharge by being by myself. Extroverts are the opposite, they recharge by being around others. This is so foreign to me since that is so draining to me.
I have had to research how to best meet her needs without exhausting myself.
5 Tips When Your Child Is An Extrovert And You’re Not
- Look for activities you both like to do. Pretend play is difficult for introverts. It reminds me of trying to make small talk and does not come naturally to me. I make sure we are loaded up on lots of crafts, board games and lego sets. These are great for bonding and having something to talk about while we are playing together. I find it a lot easier to discuss what we are doing, for example, I am going to use the glitter glue on my picture, what are you going to use?
- Do more activities outside the house where they will run into kids. Playdates and parks are a great idea. Extroverted kids like unstructured play with other kids. I used to think group classes were a good idea but she doesn’t get her need of unstructured play in the class.
- Make sure to compliment her personality traits. Let them know it is ok to be different from you. I try to let her overhear me telling my husband how friendly she was at the park to other kids.
- Don’t try to force quiet time. Call it independent play and let them play music or audio books while they are in their room. Quiet time is draining for them and can make extroverts very crabby. Another idea is to let them have a mini trampoline where they have independent play time so they can be physically active.
- Surprise your extrovert by asking them to play before they ask you. I have a tendency to wait until she is begging and whining for me to play. They get a lot of joy when you ask them first. Plus it is easier to suggest an activity you both like when you start with “Do you want to play Candy Land with me?” versus them begging to play pretend horses and then trying to get them to do something else.
I am always reading parenting books. I love sharing new tricks that work like Does Your Child Always Need the Last Word in Arguments? and Are Your Kids Stalling When You Want to Leave the House?.
Parenting books for extroverted kids that are extroverts.
Nurture by Nature by Michael Gurian
Raising Your Spirited Child by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka
Raising Your Spirited Child by Rex Forehand
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As the years go by and especially now as a SAHM, I’ve become more and more of an introvert! My daughter is much like me as well…but I soooo identified with the pretend play comment! She is just starting this and it is fascinating to watch…but I so don’t want to participate LOL! Great post that I’m sure I’ll be referring back to in the years to come! Thanks for the collaboration day! Gave me some great motivation!
Me too! I enjoyed it. It really made me step out of my comfort zone which only can mean good things.
Playdates are HUGE for my extrovert kid. He feels more himself when he socializes with friends.
I definitely need to make more playdates.
I think playdates definitely relieve parents of the constant chatter! 🙂 I hope when I have kiddos of my own we can go on lots of playdates
As an introvert who became a stepmom at (cough) “late age” to three super extroverted kids these tips will be super helpful, thanks!
Wow! That is even more of a challenge. 🙂 You are my hero.
Oh I’m not any mom’s hero, lol. I used to need a dirty martini every night we had them- I’m down to one a week:) And they have helped me climb out of my introvert shell more than I’ve helped them. They are awesome little people:)
I love my Friday night drink. 🙂
This is great advice from exactly that type of parent child relationship! It’s hard to encourage relationships outside the family when you don’t particularly want them!
I never thought of this combination of personalities! It is often the other way around. My daughter was an introvert and I am an extrovert and I was always pushing her to do stuff. Good to think about it in a new way.
Wow, I can only imagine what that would be like! Both my child and I are introverts. Playdates would be a really big deal if things had been different for me!! Great list!
Yes, I have vowed to have more playdates in the next few weeks.
We homeschool, and although my extrovert 11 year old daughter loves it…it’s hard. She goes to dance twice a week, we meet up once a week with our homeschool group at the library, and we do field trips every Friday with our homeschool group, plus the sleepovers with her best friend…it’s still hard. I’m very much an introvert….I actually loathe all of these things, but have to push myself for her sake. On the days we don’t do something, or the days we can’t make it to whatever, she melts down. We are slowly learning to work through these things, but again it’s just hard.
I feel you. We have the same problems even though my daughter goes to pre-school for 4 half-days a week. The days she has school it is a little better but it is never enough.
These are great tips! It really can be hard sometimes to find balance if you and your kids are complete opposites on some things.
I had never thought of this being an issue as I don’t have kids yet but this really is going to be in my future one day! I totally recharge by myself and the thought of having people around all the time sounds painful to me haha maybe taking naps together would count??? Hahaha. Great tips!
I can relate to this post. I’m definitely an introvert but my husband isn’t and neither is our first son. I speculate whether he is an extrovert or if he is just being a toddler because he doesn’t mind playing by himself either. These are some great tips. I love taking my boys to an open play area where I can get some time to myself while my boys run around and play with other kids.
Playdates are a big deal for us. This is a great list with fabulous ideas. Thanks for sharing.
I definitely have an extroverted child and I am so not. He wants to go out and do tons of things and I just want to stay home. These are great tips!
I’m the mom who is great at organizing an outing – museums, fun places to visit – vacations – that is my jam. But to sit and play – so boring to me!! I leave that to my husband
That’s me too! I love going places with her but to sit and play pretend is torture.
How cute is your daughter?! Love her exciting personality and enthusiasm for playing! Surprising her first to play with her is an amazing idea!
So Interesting, because I can see this happening a lot or vice versa! These are great suggestions! Thanks for sharing!
I love your tips! My daughter is an extrovert and I fall somewhere in the middle of the scale. It can definitely be challenging at times.
OH this is my daughter and I for sure. She is so outgoing and excited to meet people and talk to people and I just want to sit by myself in a corner LOL!
I consider myself an extrovert but my oldest gives extrovert a whole new meaning. He could make a rock talk back to him and I just can’t keep up. I love your tips and utilize many of them at our house. I especially try to get him out of the house as much as possible so he can use that energy with other kiddos.
I love Playdates with my son this is our bonding but these past few weeks I don’t have a time due to heavy work, Btw thanks for this post suggestion.
These are great tips! Mine is still really little but she is an extrovert if I’ve never seen one! You’re right it can be so draining!
This is such an interesting post. I am an introvert and might have to consider this when I have little ones.
Omg I can only imagine!!! Both my hubby and I are introvert and my daughter is too young to tell. I’m told play dates help a lot in this situation
Great tips, I don’t have kids but will book mark this just incase my future kid is an Extrovert because I am definitely not.
Those are great tips, i’m sure they would be helpful to those who’s personalities are different from their children, I’m sure that would be a difficult situation
I love your past point here and I think it’s so important to do once in a while! I think it will mean a lot to our children in the long run when they see that we actually want to play and spend time doing what they like to do.
my kids are ver much extroverts. it can be good sometimes, and other times so aggravating. i’ll have to check these out.
Love your tips I have the other scenrio quiet child and loud me!
My kids are both extroverts, but lucky for them – I am, too. I used to be shy, but got over that a long time ago.
This was so my daughter when she was young. I’m glad my second child is more like me, however he does have small periods of time he does want to be an extrovert but they are far and few!
My daughter is for sure an extrovert. She can be shy at times but for the most part she never meets a stranger! I am that way too though, so it makes it easy on me. My poor husband though, he just can’t catch a break.
great piece,but will admit, we have the opposite, I am extrovert and my little is an introvert, hard for me too!
Yes, I can see how that would have its own challenges.
I can definitely relate to this when I was growing up because my Mom was the Extrovert and I was not. She really tried to make me come out of my shell, and I am so glad she did. But I have to admit, it was a challenge to her! Wish she had the list you compiled to work with!
This can be so hard, I have been pushed so many times past my comfort zone with my kids, but I do it because I love them!
Me too. It is amazing what the love for our kids gets us to do. 🙂
It can be so hard to balance your social needs along with your child’s social needs. My kids are homebodies and I am not. But once I discovered that it was easier to find a happy medium. I think you share really great tips!
Thank you!
These are great tips. I have 3 children and with each fitting a different need. The youngest is a total extrovert and will make friends very easily and is fearless. The trick is getting the other 2 to feel comfortable. Thank you for your suggestions.
My niece is like this. Whenever I visit or she visits she always wants to play. Of course, she always manages to ask when I’m in the middle of doing something like cooking or getting ready. I try to make time for her, but it can be exhausting.
I don’t have children but this was such an interesting read – who would have thought that this is even a thing to consider in life (I obviously didn’t ha!) xx
Without my kids i would be so introverted it wouldn’t be good! But sometimes it’s really hard to break out of my shell
I’m a huge introvert, while my husband is a huge extrovert. Some of our kids do take after him. We try todo what we can, and we’ve always done playdates – which they love!
#4 is such a great reminder! My kiddo is definitely an extrovert and sitting quietly by herself just isn’t in her makeup. Haha!
My bff needs to read this. Her daughter is polar opposite of her timid personality. I do think it’s making her come out of her shell though. I will pass this on to her.
This is so true for me and my husband. We have one introvert child and two extroverts and he is extrovert, while I am introverted. It makes for an interesting family dynamic.
I think you have mentioned some very interesting points, appreciate it for the post.