Doesn’t he care?!?! You are reading all the parenting books, on all the baby websites and even on some forums. When you are learning all you can about the impending arrival of your little one and your husband won’t read pregnancy books you can’t help but get resentful. OK, it may be pregnancy hormones making our emotions a little crazy.
In all relationships there are those moments where one person is really into researching on a topic such as vacation spots, which restaurant to try next or even what to expect when you are having a baby and the other is not.
My husband always has to remind me that not all of us think the same way. While I like to research and plan way ahead he likes to just enjoy the moment and be a little more spontaneous. If a problem arises he will research the answer at that time. For some of us we like to prepare in advance for every situation.
If your husband isn’t researching or studying about having a baby here are a few suggestions.
3 Ways to get your Partner Involved with Preparing for a Baby
1. Give a weekly summary of what you have read. Keep some notes on your phone of things you have read that you want to share. Sometimes you will find that a lot of books share the same information. Give your partner a weekly update instead of every day. It is also a good bonus to have those notes on your phone for later when you want to refer to them.
2. The DVD of The Happiest Baby On The Block by Dr. Harvey Karp. This is the only thing I insisted that my husband do before we had our babies. This video is perfect for soon-to-be fathers. It shows them with a real baby the 5 S’s of soothing a baby. It really gives everyone tools to help calm a crying baby. Both of us think this DVD is amazing and really helped us in stressful times. Plus it is easier to get some people to watch a DVD versus reading a book.
3. Hang out with another couple that recently had a baby. Ask them to tell you all what you need to know over dinner. It can also be fun to ask them what they think the baby books don’t tell you. Real life is so different that how the books can present the situation.
Bonus #4. Take a prenatal class together. Your doctor or hospital will have some baby classes to recommend for new parents. There is even an online prenatal class if it is too difficult to make your hospital class times. This makes it so there are no excuses to miss it.
Looking back I definitely over prepared but that is just my personality. For me, it makes things less stressful if I can try to think about all sorts of scenarios that may happen and their solutions. Sometimes our partners just want to find the solutions as the problems appear which is just a different way to handle the situation and doesn’t mean they don’t have the same excitement about a new baby.
Try some of these other ways to help them learn about the impending arrival and work together to get on the same page about your new baby. If you also want to read books about slightly older children here is my list of Best Parenting Books for Kids Age 3 – 10 or learn how to Sterilize a Pacifier Without Boiling Water for when you are on the go.
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really great advise I always summarise books I’ve read to my hubby. I do it whilst he is the bath so he cant run off!
Love it! He is trapped. 🙂 I may try that myself.
robin Rue says
When I was pregnant, I was the one who wanted no part of reading those books. I had enough people giving me unsolicited advice that I just wanted to experience my own pregnancy 🙂
I can see that. I was totally the person giving unsolicited advice. 🙂 I have gotten a little better with age in knowing when to be quiet.
Janel Berchielli says
Oh yes my hubby never read the book either. I was surprised that he agreed to go to my birthing class though. In the end somethings in the field is the best experience for Dads.
Mandy Carter says
I think taking a prenatal class together was the best thing for my husband. It was the only way I knew his attention was 100% in the information.
Yes, the class definitely makes it so they have to absorb the info. 🙂
Angela Tolsma says
It’s so sad that you would feel resentful over him not reading books, I am sure that’s not how he intends to make you feel at all. Like you said, everyone prepares for things in different ways. You tips are awesome and a good way to help both prepare.
It’s funny, when I was pregnant, even with my first… I really didn’t read any of the “parenting” books. I took one class at the hospital that was pretty informative but I mainly just talked with my sisters, mom, and step mom a lot.
My husband LOVED the DVD of Happiest Baby on the Block. We used all that info! He was pretty awesome about reading all the baby books.
We used it all too! Such great tips they show.
Such great advice for new parents. There are so many resources out there right now. Thank you for sharing.
These are great tips! My husband never wanted to read the books, well, I didn’t really read them either. I would keep him up to date with the info I had on my app though!
I was quite lucky that my husband was a little interested, not in the books but would always read articles I sent! I never took it personally though x
When it comes down to it you can read and prepare but like anything else you learn on the job and develop your own style and preferences. Bottom line don’t sweat it , let it happen and you will do fine because you care>
This is some great advice! I love the idea of spending time with another family after they’ve had a baby, hands on experience is the best
These are great tips – and not just for baby books but for anything. I always do the ‘give summary’ for all books I’ve read haha x
Tanya @ Mom's Small Victories says
I wish I’d known about that DVD when our babies were little, the 5 S’s of soothing a baby would have been timely info. We figured it out the old trial and error way. My hubby started reading the Expectant Father but got completely freaked out when he got to the chapter on how much kids cost. It’s about to get way too real as our oldest is only a couple years till college. Yikes!
Misty Nelson says
My husband had absolutely no interest in the pregnancy books. I found them useful, but at some point your natural instincts really do kick in and you have to just go with the flow. Every parent is different
We haven’t started our family yet, but I know that it would be the opposite for me – I’d have to rip the books out of my husband’s hands because he’d be driving me crazy with quotes and factoids!
Krystal // The Krystal Diaries says
I could see my husband not reading those books but then again I probably wouldn’t either. I’ve worked with babies and been around so many babies and while I know it’s different when it’s your own, I would hope I could figure it out on my own and with the advice from my doctor.
Dawn McAlexander says
I would definitely have to summarize for my husband what I learned if I got pregnant. He would not want to read any books of the subject. I would have to keep him informed.
Yona Williams says
Well, if we got pregnant, I know my sweetie would not read a book. He would read news articles online, though…I guess that’s close enough.
Donah Davila says
Hehe this would be so me lol… hubby will not read pregnancy books with me I would probably just end up telling him bits and peace’s of what I have read.