We live in a world where when we want something, we want it now. We are guilty of this as adults, each and every one of us. If we know that we are guilty of this as adults, then how do we expect our children to not follow suit?
I am specifically having a hard time in the mornings being patient when my daughter wants to put her clothes and shoes on all by herself. I want to help her and just get it done and move on to brushing hair and teeth. I heard myself saying “Come on!!”, very impatiently. I specifically started telling myself that I need to calm down and give her an extra minute without saying anything because it is in all of our best interests that she learns to be independent.
Think about the last time that your child asked for something. They asked, and they wanted it immediately, right?
Seems a bit familiar in comparing to our own lives, but regardless, the lack of patience all around is something that needs to be addressed. Is there a way to teach someone patience when all they’ve known is immediate results? Absolutely. Anything can be taught with a little patience, practice, and persistence.
How to Teach Patience When your Child Needs Everything Now
- Take a look at yourself and how you present your needs to your child. If your little one sees you and notices that you are always wanting everything the moment you lay eyes on it, it’s time to be more conscious of your actions around your children. You can teach them how to be patient. Lead by example and let them see a live moment of how to be patient even though you may be wanting something right then and there. It can be a bit tricky to get this done, but it’s possible. Talk to them about an item that caught your eye that you really want. Explain to them that even though you really want it, you need to take some time to think about if it’s a purchase that is necessary for you. Teaching your children that there needs to be a thought process instead of an impulse purchase is necessary.
- Give them praise when they show patience. Just because they may not practice patience all the time doesn’t mean that they don’t understand what patience means. When they show examples that they can have patience, point it out and praise it. They’ll start putting the correlation together and hopefully begin to exercise that patience more often for their future.
- Communicate with them when they aren’t being patient. While it’s important to praise and acknowledge the good times when they show patience, it’s also just as important to communicate with them and let them know when they aren’t being patient, too. Don’t use it as a teachable moment necessarily, but more of time to explain to them what you are viewing versus how they are acting and sounding. So many times we aren’t fully aware of our actions and how they are viewed by the outside world. If you can communicate with your child during the moments that they are having patience issues, it helps them to immediately understand how their emotions are being viewed and received at the moment.
- In the same breath that you are teaching your child to learn patience about the world, it’s important for you to remember that you need to have patience with your child, too. Remember, you’re an adult. You’ve had many years to understand things and process on how to react better to situations. Your child is still learning something new, possibly each and every day. If you expect them to know now what you are just still trying to figure out, it’s setting you, and them, up for failure. Be patient when trying to teach them gratitude, as it will take some time for them to fully grasp the concept. Stay positive and persistent with them and keep leading by example as well. Before long, you may notice that your patience, and their patience, have both dramatically improved.
Teaching your child patience doesn’t have to be a frustrating time. Work on communicating in a positive manner with your child to let them know the moments that they aren’t behaving in the best way possible.
They may not even realize that it is happening if you don’t point it out to them! Work together as a team to overcome the issues with being impatient. Helping each other and holding each other accountable is a great way understand the importance of finding patience in an already chaotic world.
Be positive, be helpful and be a strong team for one another.
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Alicia Ortego says
Thank you for sharing your experience. I loved how you taught your kids to be patient and wait to get what they need.
I also wanted to share the ways to keep kids patient and make them wait for a little to see what fun things await them. The methods that I have I made with trial and error and I hope they will be helpful. I would love it if you checked out my new book. It’s called Patience is My Superpower https://aliciaortego.com/patience-is-my-superpower/. I hope your kids will like the new character and learn patience with him while having fun adventures.