When To Start Sleep Training: It’s Not Too Late!

I had just drifted off to sleep when it happened again. The cry on the baby monitor jolted me awake and, fumbling in the dark for my slippers, I made my way into the nursery. My daughter was not a good sleeper which, in turn, led to a very sleep deprived set of parents even after 6 months. It wasn’t that we didn’t want to try sleep training, we just didn’t know when to start sleep training or how to do it. Was it too soon? Was it too late? We were so exhausted that even the idea of trying to figure it out was overwhelming.

Did you know that sleep loss during the first three years of life has been linked to lower cognitive ability and hyperactivity by the age of 6? These findings from a 2007 study have led parents and pediatricians to examine sleep training methods in record numbers. Although sleep training can be highly controversial, sleep, as shown in the study, is crucial for early brain development. However, knowing when to start sleep training and which method to use with your child are key.

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3 Different Approaches for How and When to Start Sleep Training

The Controlled Crying Approach

In the book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Marc Weissbluth, he emphasizes the need for consistency and routine as early as possible. “If you start early with sleep training, you will be well along the path to preventing sleep problems,” he says. Weissbluth recommends “the cold-turkey approach” to sleep training versus a more gradual approach. While some parents may not find this abrupt sleep training method agreeable, the author points out that those who “favor a more gradual approach (controlled crying or graduated extinction) over an abrupt approach (ignoring or extinction) often complain of frequent ‘relapses.'”

Controlled crying is when the parent resists the urge to pick the child up immediately. The idea is that the child will learn to self-soothe and, eventually, fall asleep on his own. There are differing opinions as to the age for which this is appropriate, but most agree that after six months the controlled crying technique is okay to use.

How to Do the Controlled Crying Approach:

• Place your child in his crib after saying goodnight and leave the bedroom.
• If he starts to cry, wait for about 2 minutes and then go in to comfort, reassure, and say goodnight again. Spend a few minutes to soothe him and then leave the room.
• If he cries again, wait for 5 minutes before going in and repeating the reassuring process. Add about 2 minutes to each interval, so that he has to wait longer before you come into the room.
• The goal is for him to fall asleep on his own.

Wake and Sleep Method

The “wake and sleep method” on the other hand can be taught as early as day one. Dr. Harvey Karp, author of The Happiest Baby on the Block, recommends that parents let their infants fall asleep while being rocked or held, but right as they’re being put down in a bassinet or crib, they’re awakened gently. The idea is that your child will learn how to put himself back to sleep after waking during the night.

This may seem counterintuitive, but Dr. Karp insists that this sleep training method gives children the skills they need to develop better sleep habits. He also recommends that, in addition to swaddling your child, you pick him up every time he cries without delay. Unlike the controlled crying method of sleep training, this method encourages immediate soothing and holding.

For those who prefer to have their child sleep in the same room, they will find that Dr. Karp is a big advocate for keeping children in the same room during bedtime as well. He recommends moving babies to their own room at about 6-7 months of age. He explains, “by 8 months, many babies suddenly notice – and really care – if there’s no one nearby. This can especially be a problem if they’re used to having company in their room, but now find themselves totally alone.” So, moving them to their own room prior to this age will typically be better for everyone involved.

Infant Management System

Although the term sounds peculiar, an infant management system is part of a comprehensive sleep training method that starts from the time baby is born. Developed by pediatrician, Dr. Robert Bucknam and Gary Ezzo, the book On Becoming Baby Wise: Giving Your Infant the Gift of Nighttime Sleep, details the idea that sleep training begins during the waking hours.

This method focuses on establishing set routines and goals for waking hours, naptime, and feeding for infants and older children. By providing structure, stability, and routine from an early age, parents can sync their child’s natural biological needs to a schedule that benefits the whole family.

The authors stress that routines and structure will not only make nighttime hours more peaceful, they’ll also make parents more confident and, ultimately, more well rested. They also breakdown childhood into five stages, so that if you’re a late-comer to the theory, there are still tips and ideas that can help you start sleep training your older child.

Sleep Training in Practice

Three children later, I can honestly say that sleep training saved my sanity during those early years. While each of my children was drastically different in personality, sleep training allowed us to help them develop skills that have led to better sleep for all of us. Depending on which theory or method of sleep training you prescribe to, there are elements of all of them that can be implemented from day one. Choose what’s best for you and your child and know that there are plenty of people there to support you no matter what your decision

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Print out this fun milestone tracker to keep track of your baby's growth and join our newsletter.

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Want go further with some in depth sleep advice? I recommend the individual or group coaching plans from The Baby Sleep Site. Every child and family has their own patterns and lifestyle and the Baby Sleep Site’s plans can be made to adjust to your needs. They also have DIY monthly plan options if you don’t want the individual sleep coaching.

The Baby Sleep Site has worked with over 35,000 moms and Nicole Johnson, the founder, has made it her mission to help tired parents solve their babies’ sleep challenges in a manner that fits your child’s personality and your parenting style. Check it out here today.

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